Finding You
by momoni920
Summary: Voldemort is gone and all is finally right in the Wizarding World. So why is Hermione Granger so restless? As she travels back to Hogwarts for her last year, she experiments in her independence and perhaps finds the one thing that can bring her peace.
1. Chapter 1

"Ron?"

"…Hermione?"

"…We can't do this anymore."

The red haired man stared at his girlfriend, eyes wide and mouth agape. Hermione prayed that he wouldn't be so shocked as to drop his newly poured mug of coffee on the floor. Kreacher had seemed to be working extra hard lately.

After a moment of stunned silence, Ron came back to himself. Swallowing a couple of times, and looking quite like a goldfish, he sat next to Hermione at the table in the brightly lit kitchen. He remained sitting there, staring at the spotless floor, until Hermione finally felt the need to break the quiet tension.

"Oh, Ron," she sighed. "It's just… I simply… Well, I thought this would feel… right… you know? I thought that once we stopped dancing around each other and admitted how we felt, that everything would sort of… fall into place."

"And it didn't…" said Ron.

Hermione hesitated. "Exactly…"

He raised his blue eyes to her brown, and she was relieved to see he didn't look crushed, simply defeated. _Not much of an alternative, Granger, _she thought.

"I've got to admit, I've been feeling the same way. Like we've broken some sort of code by being together, like this isn't the way things were supposed to work out…" He chuckled hollowly, staring at his cup now. "But I thought it might be something we could fix."

Hermione smiled sadly and shook her head. "I thought so too, for awhile… But I don't think it's something that's fixable, Ron."

Silence descended between them once more, and Hermione raised her gaze to the enchanted windows she and Harry had installed in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place. They were rather ingenious, enchanted windows in the basement kitchen that emitted a magical light, bathing the kitchen in artificial sunlight that was so realistic, Hermione could grow herbs and flowers on the windowsill. There was a fake field that stretched beyond the glass panes, which, when opened, let a warm breeze in that wafted throughout the whole house.

Hermione stared out at the all too real field, mesmerized by the color of the grass and the way it swayed in the breeze. Suddenly she had a desperate, violent urge to run out the door, down the street, past the neighboring apartments, and on. She felt as if there were someone, something, somewhere that needed her terribly, and soon. The rational part of her brain butted in, albeit very quietly, and whispered that she was probably only feeling pre-school jitters, that she was simply excited to be heading back to Hogwarts. But the untamed part of her that was awakened pushed the rational thought down until it was silenced completely.

She was just about to stand when a chuckle from Ron brought her back, crashing down to the Earth and into her seat at the table. She whipped her vision to the red-head's half amused, half saddened expression.

"What?" she asked, slightly breathless. "What is it?"

"'Mione, if you're getting that kind of look on your face, I know we're not supposed to be together."

Despite the fact that the entire purpose of the conversation was to convince Ron that she didn't think they belonged together, Hermione was injured and confused by his words. "What look? What do you mean?"

"Well," he said, scrunching up his nose as he tried to think of a way to describe it. "It's a sorta dreamy look, like the way Luna looks all the time, but with a wild tinge to it, like you're just gonna burst at the seams."

Hermione stared at him, thoroughly shocked by his insight. "That's… that's exactly how it felt… How did you…?"

"Know?" Ron shrugged. "I feel like that a lot of the time. Like there's somewhere you need to be really bad…"

"So… so you understand… why I think we should break up?"

He nodded, still sadly, but with a real smile this time.

"…Friends?"

He laughed at this, kissing her lightly on her brow. "Always, 'Mione."

There was a sudden burst of noise as the front door opened and closed and a man and woman's laughs echoed down into the kitchen.

"Are they really back already?" Hermione wondered aloud. She and Ron stood, heading up the stairs and into the entrance hall where a man with untidy black hair and a woman with flame red hair and freckles across her nose and shoulders stood close together, still laughing lightly about whatever joke they had shared. Ron cleared his throat and the pair separated. Harry at least had the good sense to look slightly abashed, but Ginny's demeanor didn't change a bit.

"Oh good, you two came up!" she said happily. "Ron, we need to get going, Mum said dinner would be at five."

Ron swore lightly, quickly heading into the living room, followed by his sister and two best friends. The four said their goodbyes, Ron giving quick hugs to his two best friends, Ginny and Harry sharing a chaste kiss before she moved on to hug Hermione tightly.

"Oof, Ginny!" Hermione protested. "I'll be seeing you on the platform tomorrow!"

"I know that," Ginny stated, pulling away and giving Hermione a piercing look that told her Harry Potter couldn't keep a secret from his girlfriend worth a damn. "You know you two are always welcome at the Burrow." Ginny continued. "Mum'd love to have you over for dinner sometime."

"Not tonight, Ginny," Hermione said, smiling. "Kreacher said he had something special planned for my last night at home."

"Sweet little sod," Ron laughed. "Sure has changed a lot over the past year!"

"Ron! Don't call Kreacher a 'sod!'" Hermione protested, and the four shared a small laugh, reveling in the feel of years gone by.

"Come on, Gin," Ron said finally. "If we don't get going, Mum'll stuff apples in our mouths and serve us up for dinner."

"Alright, alright," his little sister exclaimed, grabbing her own handful of Floo powder. "We'll see you two on the platform tomorrow!" And in two whooshes of green flame, the Weasley siblings were gone.

Hermione immediately rounded on her friend. "Harry Potter!" she exclaimed, resting her hands on her hips. "You couldn't keep _one _tidbit of information from your girlfriend until tomorrow?"

Harry winced slightly. The Dark Lord couldn't hold a candle to the wrath Hermione Granger could inflict on your life. "Come on, Hermione, be fair. I didn't _need_ to tell her anything. She's one of your best friends, she could tell something was up."

"So you're telling me that you didn't mention one little bit of my plan to break up with Ron?"

"…"

"Harry?"

"I may have filled in a few blanks."

Hermione threw her hands into the air in exasperation, grabbed her book from the coffee table and plopped down on the couch. Harry sat on the couch across from her.

"Well?" he asked.

"Well, what?" she replied irritably, eyes trained on the page.

"You know 'well, what.'" When she simply scoffed, he sighed. "How did it go between you and Ron?"

"Swimmingly," she said, her voice dripping with acid.

"Really?"

"Yes… No…" She sighed, sitting up and putting her book aside. "Sort of."

Harry raised his eyebrows, steepling his fingers and looking at her over his glasses in such a Dumbledore like manner Hermione almost burst out laughing. Instead, she filled him in on her conversation with Ron.

"So he was okay with it?" he asked when she'd finished.

"Apparently. He at least understood what's going on with me. But I think we're both still sad that we couldn't fix it."

Harry nodded, spreading his fingers, separating his hands and leaning back. "Well, at least now you can work past whatever block you've been experiencing lately. Being with Ron while you're at school and we're traveling around doing errands for the Minister and the Auror's office would have been too stressful, especially since McGonagall gave you Head Girl. This'll end up being better for the both of you."

"You're right, of course, Harry," she said, smiling at her friend. "Though it still hurts now."

Harry smiled knowingly and held his arms out. She took the invitation, crossing over to where he sat and snuggling into the chest of the boy who'd been like a brother to her for almost eight years. "Remind me when you got so good at the whole counseling thing…" she said into his shirt.

He chuckled softly. "Guess I must have taken a leaf out of Professor Dumbledore's book…" he trailed off for a moment before pressing a kiss into her hair. "You know I'll always be here for you, Hermione."

She smiled, eyes watering slightly. "I know," she said softly, and he held her until Kreacher called them for dinner.


	2. Chapter 2

"Father?"

No response.

"Father, please…"

The room beyond the great oak door remained silent. Draco sighed, defeated.

"Mother and I are headed to the platform now… I just came to say goodbye. I'll be back for the holiday." He stood there for a few seconds more, hoping, dare he say, praying, there would be an answer. Eventually, he gave up, and went to meet his mother in the receiving room.

Narcissa was not at her best. She was more tired than Draco had ever seen her. There were dark rings underneath her eyes, her cheeks were gaunt, and her skin had taken on a more pallid tone than usual. Her hair was no longer fancifully done, but held back in a simple plait, and she never wore makeup or her expensive robes anymore. She looked beaten.

However, when she saw her son descending the grand staircase towards her, she gave him her brightest smile. Though not quite convincing, he saw a glimmer of hope in that smile, a glimpse of their past happiness, before the war had ended, even back before Voldemort had returned. Those 13 years of a somewhat normal family life were what Draco dreamt of. Seeing that look on his mother's face, those memories surfacing, he could not help but to return the smile.

Once he was standing in front of her, she reached out and touched his face, her eyes searching his features almost hungrily.

"Did you speak to your father?" she asked, still holding on to her smile.

"I spoke," Draco answered. "He didn't."

The smile that was so precious to Draco faltered, but Narcissa patted her son's cheek affectionately. "He'll come around soon. You know how your father has his rough patches."

_Lasting a day, maybe, _Draco thought. _Not three._ He pressed his lips together in a thin line, a habit of worry he'd picked up from his mother.

"Are you sure I should be going back to Hogwarts? Maybe I should stay here with you and Father… I don't want to abandon y-"

"That's enough, Draco," his mother cut in. "Of course you should go back to Hogwarts. You weren't able to enjoy your seventh year because of mistakes made by your father and me. I'm not going to let that happen to you a second time. Besides, you have too much responsibility at the school this year. We can't keep you from that."

Draco could tell this was a non-negotiable subject with his mother, so he simply grabbed his school trunk with one hand and held his mother's with the other, and they apparated to the train station.

* * *

><p>The gleaming red of the Hogwarts Express and the hustle and bustle of the platform were consoling sights to Hermione. She breathed in deeply, savoring the temporary peace she held now that she was headed to her home away from home.<p>

She and Harry stood together on the platform, scanning the crowd for two red heads. Hermione was a little sad that her parents weren't there to see her off, but she'd gone to visit them early that morning, and they'd said their goodbyes then. They were still recuperating from having their memories modified and being sent to Australia the previous year. Although Hermione had effectively restored all of their real memories, and they had happily returned to their normal lives, there was still a certain amount of shock that they had to deal with all over again. Hermione didn't want to push her luck by bringing them to a place so teeming with witches and wizards.

"There," Harry spotted, pointing over Hermione's shoulder and shocking her from her thoughts. Ron and Ginny were shuffling towards them from the gate.

"Sorry we're late, you two," Ginny said as she hugged her friend and kissed her boyfriend. "Couldn't get _this_ one out of bed this morning." She jerked a thumb at Ron as he stifled a yawn.

"It's a good thing you got here when you did!" Hermione reprimanded. "It's almost time for the train to leave."

"Alright, alright," Ginny sighed. "No need to get your knickers in a twist."

They muscled through the crowd of departing students and teary parents, getting alongside the scarlet engine and walking towards the nearest carriage. When they were close enough to the entrance, they stopped to say their final goodbyes. Tears sprang up in Hermione's eyes as she looked at her two best friends.

"Good luck with your Auror jobs," she said, hugging both of her boys at the same time.

"Aw, come on 'Mione," Ron said into her hair. "We'll be just fine."

"Yeah," said Harry, rubbing her back in small, comforting circles. "Have a little faith, Hermione."

She gave a small laugh as she pulled away and looked at them. "Oh, you know I have faith in you both. I just worry about you is all. I won't be around to do all your paperwork anymore."

"We'll manage," Harry reassured.

Ron looked slightly more disturbed. "Merlin's grave to 'managing,' Harry!" he joked. "Hermione, _please_ don't go!"

She laughed and swatted him affectionately.

"Is that Malfoy?" Ginny asked suddenly.

The trio looked up to see Draco Malfoy standing with his mother in the center of the platform. They seemed to be deep in an intense conversation.

"What's the git doing here?" Ron wondered aloud.

Hermione shook her head at the way Ron so casually insulted Malfoy, almost like his name really was "the git."

"Maybe he came back to repeat year seven," Harry stated, shrugging. "I have a feeling not very many people got much of an education last year."

"They look horrible," Ginny observed, not unkindly.

And they did. Narcissa looked as though she no longer cared about her appearance, as she wore no makeup, held her long, blonde hair back in a messy braid, and wore simple, non-descript robes.

At first glance, Draco didn't look much different than he ever had. He wore a dark colored, finely tailored suit and his hair was combed as always. As she inspected him more closely, however, Hermione noticed how exhausted he looked, as if he hadn't had a quiet night's sleep in ages. His hair, though still neat and combed, held slight evidence of being mussed, as though he'd run his hand through it. His skin was slightly paler, and he had an almost desperate look in his eyes as he spoke to his mother.

"I wonder what they're talking about…" said Hermione.

"And I wonder where daddy is…" Ron mused.

At that moment, Draco heaved a visible sigh and Narcissa smiled, as if she'd won whatever argument they'd been having. He bent over slightly to kiss his shorter mother on the cheek before turning and catching eye contact with Hermione.

They both jumped slightly and his eyes darted around, registering her companions also looking in his direction, before they rested back on her. She felt as though she should break the contact, but found it impossible to look away. She studied him, finding not only desperation in those gray orbs, but a deep sadness as well, a sense of defeat. Hermione wondered what could possibly be the matter. Their family had received a pardon from the Ministry, none of their wealth had been taken, and they could now live without the threat of Voldemort looming in the background. Why on Earth would _Draco Malfoy_, of all people, be feeling hopeless about his place in society? Hermione was surprised to realize she was worried about him.

After a moment, or perhaps an eternity, Draco tensed, his mouth forming a thin line. Then, he sent them a cordial nod and quickly boarded the train.

The four friends held their breath for a second more before Ron let it all out with a, "What the _fuck_?"

"Ronald Weasley!" Hermione reprimanded.

It was then they noticed Narcissa had also caught sight of the four Gryffindors and was now looking warily in their direction.

"I'll be right back," Harry mumbled. He marched through the crowds towards Narcissa, who seemed to be deciding whether to fight or flee. Before she could make up her mind, Harry stopped in front of her and said something shortly. The Malfoy matriarch looked shocked as she delivered her own short response. Harry nodded and headed back to where his friends stood. Narcissa watched him go, tears forming in her eyes.

"What did you say to her?" Hermione asked urgently once he'd reached them again.

Harry looked calmer than he had since the war had ended when he answered his friend's question.

"I said thank you."


End file.
